The Battle Of The Idiots
by MusicalGeek98
Summary: Johnny and Jimmy thing that they know Will and Tunny better than they know them. Do they? A parody of Friends episode; 'The One With The Embryos'


**A: N: Hello! I haven't written any**_** 'American Idiot' **_**fanfics in AGES! (Okay so I wrote ONE last Christmas and it sucked) Anyway I was watching a **_**'Friends'**_** episode the other day and in the episode Joey and Chandler were against Rachel and Monica in a quiz about how well they know each other and I just thought; I can so see Johnny and Jimmy Vs Will and Tunny doing this! Therefore this fic is born! It's basically the '**_**Friends**_**' scene with different names, really shows how creative I am. Please review! Also in other news Tony Vincent tweeted me a happy birthday! I flipped out!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Absolutely nothing**

Nights in New York were surprisingly quiet, apart from the odd gunshots Jimmy, Johnny and Whatsername got a good sleep until;

"QUACK!" every single night a duck would wake them by squawking horrifically loud.

In unison, three people emerged from their rooms, Jimmy and Johnny both wearing only their boxers while Whatsername was wearing one of her boyfriends shirt, which she forgot to return a year and a half ago. Without saying a word to each they walked out the apartment and Whatsername banged manically on the door of the apartment opposite them.

A sleepy Tunny and Will opened the door and looked at them

"WHAT is that noise?" Whatsername growled

"You!" Will responded

"The duck's been up all night, we think she's ill" Tunny grumbled

"Get. Rid. Of. It!" Jimmy said dangerously

"No! She's part of the family, besides we let you keep Whatsername and she makes all sorts of weird noises!"

"It's called _singing_ you jackass!"

"Really?! It sounds more like animal abuse!" Will supplied helpfully

At this point Jimmy and Johnny had to use all their strength to restrain Whatsername, who had lunged at the two.

"That isn't true!" Johnny complained walking through the door to his apartment carrying a huge basket of washing with Will trailing close behind

"Yes it is!"

"What?" Whatsername asked

"He's just bitching because I know that today is laundry day so I know he isn't wearing any underwear" Will said

"I can't believe you think you and Tunny know me and Jimmy better than we know you!"

"Actually I'm more concerned just how Will knew that Johnny's going commando" Whatsername muttered

"But we do" Tunny said from his place on the couch, completely ignoring Whatsername's comment

"No you don't!" Jimmy joined in

"Well you-" Will pointed to Johnny

"-can only smoke pot that's been put in a blender first"

"Yeah, seriously what's that about?" Tunny asked

"And Whatsername if you check In Jimmy's pocket you will find a packet of bubblegum"

Whatsername's had dived into Jimmy's jean pocket and emerged with a piece of gum and a packet of gum

"You're good!" she took a piece of gum and put it in her mouth

"-This is not" she said spitting the gum into the sink

"That doesn't prove anything!" Jimmy said

"Yeah! I want a re-match! But none of these stupid pot questions! Real personal questions!" Johnny protested

"And the winner gets $100" Jimmy stated

"Y-you serious?" Will stuttered, eyes comically wide

"You scared?" Jimmy taunted

"N-no" Will whimpered

Everyone asked Whatsername, being the impartial party, to draw up a quiz with personal questions. She reluctantly agreed and went into her room to make them. She emerged half an hour later carrying a huge white bored split into two section across the breath and four sections horizontally, the two sections were labelled '_Saint Jesus'_ and _'Stumpy and Deadbeat' _

"Right!-"Whatsername shouted and set up the bored in front of the couch, the contestants ran towards it

"Each team will have ten questions; the questions are in four categories: _'Fears and Pet Peeves' 'Ancient History' 'Literature' _ and '_It's all relative'. _Time for the coin toss"

Whatsername filled the coin and no one said anything

"Someone call it this time!"

She flipped it again

"Tails!" Johnny said

"It's heads!" Whatsername said looking at the coin

Jimmy hit Johnny round the back of the head while Will and Tunny high fived

"Tunny and Blue pick a category"

"Fears and Pet Peeves" Will said

"What is Jimmy's biggest pet peeve?"

"Animals dressed as humans!" Will answered

"That is correct!" Whatsername drew a mark under their team name

"Saint Jesus?"

"Same category"

"According to Tunny what 'scare the bejebus' out of him?

"Michael Flatly: Lord of the Dance!" Jimmy shouted

"That's correct!" she drew a mark under their name

"The Irish jig guy?!" Will said in disbelief

"His legs flail as if independent from his body!" Tunny whispered, horrified

"Category?"

"We'll go with; it's all relative" Will said

"Johnny had a grandmother who died; you both attended her funeral, NAME THAT GRANDMOTHER!"

" Nana?" Will suggested

"She has a real name" Tunny sighed

"ALTHEA!" Will suddenly shouted

"ALTHEA?" Tunny asked

"I TOOK A SHOT!"

"YOU'RE SHOOTING WITH ALTHEA?!"

"Althea is correct" Whatsername said marking on the point

"NICE SHOOTING!" Tunny said

"Boys?" Whatsername asked

"Literature" Jimmy said

"Each week the T.V Guide comes to Will and Tunny's apartment, what name appears on the address?"

"OH! TUNNY GETS IT! IT'S TUNNY HENDERSON!" Johnny shouted leaping from his seat

"NO!" Jimmy said standing up as well

"I'm sorry but the T.V Guide actually comes to; Tuncky Hoonderson" Whatsername said

"I KNEW THAT!-"Jimmy shouted outraged

"-Johnny! Use your head!"

"Actually it's MISS Tuncky Hoonderson" Tunny said grinning

The game went on for quite a while with more questions answered and more answers given. Will and Tunny were in the lead by Johnny and Jimmy's last question.

"Okay, so it's 9 8 in favour of Stumpy and Deadbeat-"Whatsername said

"Can you stop calling us that? It makes me sound like one of Snow Whites dwarfs" Tunny asked, cutting her off

"No, I thought it was clever. So Saint Jesus you need to get this question right to stay in the game. Pick a category"

"IT'S ALL RELATIVE!" Johnny yelled, Whatsername covered her ears

"You don't have to yell everything"

"I'M SORRY!" He yelled at exactly the same volume

"What is the name of the all male gay burlesque show Will was asked to join when he went to Las Vegas last year?"

"VIVA LAS GAYGUS!" Jimmy shouted standing up

"Unfortunately that is correct" Will mumbled, gloomily and Johnny and Jimmy high fived.

"It appears we have a tie, luckily I have prepared for this-"she pulled a set of card with a lightning bolt on the back out of her pocket

"The lightning round! 30 seconds, all the questions you can answer!" everyone made various noises of surprise and excitement

"You are so dead! I am so good at lightning rounds!" Jimmy shouted pointing at Tunny and Will

"Hey! I majored in lightning rounds! We're gonna DESTROY you!" Will replied jumping up, glaring at Jimmy

"Oh! Wanna bet?" Jimmy half laughed half asked

"Hmm I'm as confused as what we've been doing so far" Will answered sarcastically, rubbing his chin.

"How about we play for more money, say $150?!" Jimmy said, smirking at Tunny's face. Aforementioned person's jaw had fell open and eyes were as big as dinner plates.

"One hundred and fifty dollars" Johnny repeated in a breathy voice

"Say 200?!" Will countered

"Two HUNDRED dollars" again Johnny repeated in the same breathy and annoying voice.

"Stop that now!" Will said imitating Johnny's voice

"Sorry" he apologized, but in the same breathy voice

"Will, I don't wanna lose $200" Tunny whispered, concerned

"We won't-"he whispered back to Tunny, who physically relaxed

"-THREE HUNDRED!" Will shouted in Jimmy's face

"WILL!" Tunny shrieked

"I'm just trying to spice things up!" Will argued

"Then play for some pepper, STOP SPENDING MY MONEY!"

"OH! I GOT IT!" Johnny yelled and leapt up from the couch, everyone turned to him expectantly, hoping that this would be one of those occasions where Johnny had a good idea. Though they were as uncommon as a big foot sighting.

"If we win, you have to get rid of the bird!" He said triumphantly

"Oooo that's interesting" Jimmy sang, sliding closer to Johnny

"No way! That bird's family!" Tunny pouted

"Look! We're not-"Tunny got cut off by Will

"HOLD ON! If you win we'll give up the bird-"Tunny gasped and let out a high pitched 'Gah!'

"-Let me finish. But if we win, we get your apartment!" Will smiled when there was a silence. Johnny laughed and shook his head at the shear ridiculousness of the proposition, but his smile was soon wiped clear from his face when Jimmy smirked and yelled:

"DEAL!" and shook Will's hand.

"THERE IS NO WAY WE'RE BETTING THE APPARTEMNT!" Whatsername screeched over the noise. Just then the bird that's been irritating her to the point of murder squawked and she paused.

"Alright, I'm in!"

"Okay Tunny and Will, you're up first" Whatsername said

"Wait! If Whatsername is in this bet, she might make it really easy for Johnny and Jimmy!" Will pointed out. So after a long discussion, okay argument, about it they soon called in Extraordinary Girl to help out.

"Okay Tunny and Will, you're up first" she said, in the most unenthusiastic voice ever heard

"Wait!-"

"WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG?!" Jimmy yelled at his team mate

"Extraordinary Girl is Tunny's girlfriend, she might be biased!" Johnny pointed out. So after another long argument that this time involved plate throwing, they all settled on Heather. She was free of prejudice; she hated everyone in the room equally.

"Okay Tunny and will you're up first" They got up happily and joined Heather at the front; she clicked the timer and asked the first question.

"What was Johnny's nickname when he was a field hockey goalie?"

"Scrawny ass goalie" Will answered quick as a flash

"That's correct!" Heather said and Johnny looked hurt

"Jimmy claims this is his favourite movie"

"'_Slumdog Millionaire'_" Tunny answered

"His actual favourite movie is"

"Gay porn" Will answered like it was obvious. Jimmy looked at his feet

"What part of his body did Johnny get a pencil stuck at age 14?" Will whispered something into Heathers ear, her facial expression changed to one of pure disgust

"EW! NO! HIS EAR!" She shrieked, flapping her arms around. Will and Tunny looked at each other and shrugged

"Jimmy categorises his Cocaine, how many categories are there?"

"Everyday use" Will started counting on his fingers

"Fancy" Tunny supplied

"Guest" Will counted

"Fancy Guest" Tunny said

"Two seconds!" Heather said looking at the timer

"AH ELEVEN?!" Tunny shouted uncertainly just before the timer beeped

"Eleven? Amazing, ELEVEN IS CORRECT!" Heather shouted, Will and Tunny cheered jumping up and down

"That's four for Stumps and Jackass" Heather counted

"Deadbeat" Whatsername corrected

"Saint Jesus, you're up!"

"30 seconds on the clock FIVE correct answers wins the game. The lightning round begins-"she clicked the timer

"NOW! What is Tunny's favourite food?"

"Sandwiches" Johnny answer

"Correct. Will was how old when he first touched a girls breast?"

"14?" Jimmy asked

"No, 19" Heather paused

"Pah! Loser! Will had an imaginary childhood friend hi name was?"

"Maurice!" Jimmy said

"Correct! His occupation?"

"Oh! Space Cowboy!" Johnny said pointing to Will who was smiling at his own creativity

"Correct! What is Tunny Henderson's job?" There was a silence where Johnny and Jimmy's eyes grew wider at the fact they didn't know

"OH! It's got something to do with numbers and processing-"Jimmy though out load

"He carries a briefcase!" Johnny said panicked

"10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game!" Heather said, her eyes darting from the timer to the boys

"It has something to do with transponding" Jimmy said desperately

"OH OH HE'S A TRANS-TRANSPONSDER!" Johnny shouted jumping up and down

"THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD!" Jimmy yelled

"I can get this, I can get this" Johnny repeated bouncing on the spot. The timer beeped, signalling the end of the 30 seconds. There was brief pause

"NOOOOOOO!" Jimmy yelled falling to his knees, in an overdramatic portrayal of his anger.

"YEEEEES!" Will and Tunny yelled at the jumped from the couch and started dancing

**A/N: Yeah, I know. Unoriginal, stupid, I should be ashamed of myself for posting this blah fucking blah. But tell me if you think that maybe it could possibly be considered good? Maybe? A long shot, I know. But I'm too shit writer to write anything good. This was for fun so I hoped you liked it.**

**Review please! **


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